As many of
you know, over the summer, I spent six weeks with severe abdominal pain, which
was finally diagnosed as ACNES (abdominal cutaneous nerve entrapment
syndrome). The Apostle Paul talked about
his thorn in his side that was never healed; well, I began to understand Paul’s
situation and suffering in a very personal way this summer!
After
countless doctor visits, dozens of tests, multiple CAT scans, hospital stays
and one doctor after another referring me to yet another specialist saying, “I
don’t know what is wrong with you,” I soon began to ask God the all-important question – why? I would ask God, "How can lying in this bed in
severe pain bring glory to You? How can
I serve You in the midst of this pain? How
can You use this illness for good?" And,
most importantly, I asked God, "What I was supposed to learn from this?"
I learned a
lot over those six weeks. Being in bed
and in pain allowed me to bathe in God’s presence every minute, of every hour,
of the day. I had to!
God and I had many “interesting” conversations! Yes, they were honest, heartfelt, and tough
conversations. Being a Type-A person and
having to learn to just “be” and to trust fully in God, forced me to look at my
faith from a deeper perspective.
At several
doctors’ appointments, I found myself having conversations with the receptionists,
the nurses, the lab techs and the doctors.
And on more than one occasion, I was asked by someone about Calvary and had opportunities to share my personal faith
in ways that only God could have orchestrated!
I handed out more Calvary business
cards and gave more hugs to total strangers from my hospital bed and at various
doctors’ offices than I’ve ever handed out when I was well and just “visiting”
others in the hospitals. Hmmm…Did God
use these six weeks of my illness to His glory and to be His hands and feet to
others? Well, I would have to say, yes!
You see God
uses us all the time, not just when we are doing great and sailing through
life, but more times than not, He uses you and me in the midst of our own
suffering and problems to minister to others.
You know, a season of suffering in our own lives can oftentimes have consequences
that are life-changing for someone else.
Through our own suffering and pain we live out our faith in a more
powerful way then words could ever express. Your pain and my pain does indeed have a
purpose.
Rather than
resent our problems or suffering, we need to ask God to use them to His
glory. Yes, the pain or problems may
still persist in our lives, but when we allow our problems, our suffering and
our heartaches to unite WITH God’s bigger purpose, then God can be glorified in
miraculous ways we may never understand.
Michael W.
Smith had a song a few years ago called "The
Heart of Worship." It’s a wonderful
song that reminds us that no matter what we go through and no matter what is
stripped away from us, we simply need to come just as we are, to the One who is
at the heart of our worship, Jesus.
To His
Glory!
Pastor
Carol
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